“If you accept that your relationships are here to make you conscious, instead of happy, then your relationships become a wonderful self mastery tool that keeps realigning you with your higher purpose for living.”
- Eckhart Tolle
Change only happens when we go against everything we're used to doing...
Often we can live through our relationships and ultimately take them for granted. We get stuck in roles, or big transitions take place, like having a child, changing careers, or moving cities and we expect that things will adjust automatically without taking the time or conscious effort to renegotiate our roles or orientation towards each other, and the relationship.
Over time things become stuck, rigid, and we lose a sense of our original chemistry or connection with one another.
We can feel that the whole thing needs to break and we need to start over from scratch, try something new, escape…
We treated our relationships more like we do our businesses?
This can sound like quite a “hard” approach, but let’s think about it for a moment….
Before we start a new business venture or create a business partnership, we spend quite a bit of time really ensuring that we align our business goals. We are cognisant of our individual contributions to the new venture and what our particular role and responsibilities are.
Once our business grows we regularly engage in feedback and review sessions with our teams and partners. Are we doing what we said we would do? Are we growing in the intended trajectory? Are we aligned?
We work to ensure that we remain aligned with our vision and mission, and we set up our business values which we check all our actions and efforts against.
Not only that, but we are constantly invested in ensuring that it is profitable, it is doing what it was created to do and that the environment efficiently enables its sustainablity and growth.
Where there is building tension in teams or working groups, this is resolved swiftly and effectively because managers and owners know fully that employee dissatisfaction or dissonance can wreak havoc on the long-term profitability of a business.
but now how does this compare to our standard relationship model?
Unfortunately, most of us have the notion that relationships happen automatically. That “love is enough” and things will just fall in to place when that is present.
We invest a lot of time and attention to the dating phase and ensuring the initial creation and commitment of the relationship, but then we somehow think “our job is over”… now we can sit back and reap the rewards of partnership.
We assume our partners can mind-read our emotional needs because “they love us” and in turn we can intuit what they want and need because… well, we watched our parents, or media/society tells us… or we can simply overlay our wants and needs onto them and assume they are the same…. we are in a relationship after all… how could they be different?
Now…. imagine for a moment if this is how we approached our business partnerships? Hint…. we may find we are replaced by a new investor in a relatively short period of time!
So what is the solution?
To ensure the ultimate longevity and good-health of your relationship requires a few ingredients:
With these things in place (or at least a willingness to develop them), then there is an opportunity to work with a guide (or by yourselves with some commitment to learning and development), to process the tides of an evolving relationship between nuanced human individuals. To build and strengthen your relationship to ensure that it is a container for growth, nurturing, receptivity and reciprocity (or whatever else your personal aims and desires are for your relationship).
Ultimately… giving you the chance to design the relationship or your CHOICE, based on the individual needs and desires for the participating partners, rather than adopting a “off-the-shelf” approach to relationship in the hopes that it will work and then get surprised when it is not an ideal fit…
If "Reimagining your Relationship" sounds like a process you are prepared to engage in, or simply would like to perform some relationship maintenance, then you are invited to reach out and book a no-obligation, free 20-minute coaching call.
Alternatively, send me a mail or Whatsapp and we can discuss your needs.