Yesterday I took part in something different… something I rarely do.
There is a movement to say yes more – to open ourselves up to fresh experiences – to take risks and explore the unknown.
It pays off every time. Even if you don’t enjoy the experience that you said yes to, you have discovered one more thing about yourself – something you had not tried before and have now found a “no” to. If it turns out to be a positive experience, then that was a risk which paid off in great returns!
Yesterday was also the day that I said “yes” a year ago to committing to a life-partnership… something which equally came about by my partner, Francis, exploring his “yes-movement”.
We started dating, and he challenged himself to say yes to more experiences vs his risk-managed approach to life, which had kept him “safe” within his boundaries of “the known world”. From within his territory of security, he could peer out with a cynical and critical eye towards everything that occupied the space outside of it.
This changed…
He said yes to invitations to explore new things… new perspectives…. new experiences.
Aspects of himself unfolded like the petals of a flower opening to a new dawn towards the light of day. He saw and witnessed these unknown parts of himself and gave them space in his expanded world. His world grew as he uncovered bigger and bigger territories of the unknown.
He expanded, we expanded, and our lives grew richer.
This was ultimately the theme I experienced from my first taste of Karmic Constellations facilitated by Yael Eini yesterday. (An event which I found after following a Facebook exploration rabbit-hole thanks to Facebook’s clever algorithm of following my interests).
I am familiar and trained in family constellations, a service I provide to my clients where we explore the entanglements in their family lines or entanglements between internalised aspects of themselves… but I had not encountered the work of “karmic” constellations and so I was intrigued.
We explored the polarity held in ancestral and karmic lines of “we are healed because of belief” and “we are killed because of belief”.
This is a strong theme in many of our histories… Religions, politics, sexuality, spiritual beliefs, traditional healers etc. Wars have been raged because of beliefs, mass genocides have taken place on the grounds of belief… AND revolutionary innovations have taken place because of belief, healing of body, mind and spirit have taken place because of belief, and many more countless positive experiences have been born out of someone’s belief (…aka active and creative imagination).
The fear and desire that hides in this polarity can keep us staying small. It can keep us from exploring our own unknown territories. It can prohibit us from “saying yes” to ourselves.
The two insights that I received were:
- We have a choice: Where do we want to place our attention? Which aspect of our history or which side of the polarity in our collective history do we want to focus all our attention on? Do we want to hold to the internal beliefs based on the fear and trauma that has taken place, or do we want to see and look at where there has been healing or positive experiences?
- There is a resource in seeing and being seen….
Seeing: To look, with gentle eyes, (aka without judgement or cynicism) at that which has come before, or into those parts of ourselves which do exist but which have been marginalized, or to the greater dynamics which are at play in the world. To really look and see… not hide away from, shun or reject. To bring our eyes of acceptance to what is…. Not our eyes of judgment of what we want to see vs what actually is. There have been victims, there have been perpetrators. There victims, and there perpetrators. This is a cycle which takes place in humanity and there is an on-going relationship between these two aspects… in society, and within ourselves.
Being Seen: To have the courage of heart, to follow your own yes to life and show yourself. To show up with your passions, your desires, your dreams. To bring your gift and unique essence into the world. The world needs your diversity, it needs your voice and flavour. We learn in family constellations, that everyone has a place. Everyone belongs. Every role that is lived within a system is needed. Allow yourself to take up space in your own life and not hide.
The wisdom that was shared at the end of our circle to step into our next possibility was:
- Follow the wisdom of your heart and your inner knowing.
- Be patient with yourself and allow the progression of baby-steps (more to come on the value of 1% gains)
- A possibility is just a possibility unless you activate your legs and feet to walk towards it to create your future.
What aspect of you is looking to be seen? Look with love, curiosity and compassion and create a space for it’s unfolding.
About the Author: Tiffany Stone
Tiffany Stone is an Internationally Accredited Family Law Mediator, Systemic Family Constellations Facilitator and Divorce & Relationship Coach.
She works with individuals and couples, both in person and online. You can view reflections from previous clients on the testimonials page.
