- Have my own horse
- Live in a beautiful home
- Life a lifestyle where I can travel, see the world, indulge in some luxuries
- Have a loving life-partner who supports me in partnership
- Have a business where I am working through pleasure rather than need
- Have a loving family
My communication for September is a bit later than usual…. in fact I have missed September altogether and fallen into October… but I am back!
In my last newsletter I covered the topic of working with our relationship to death in order to make space for something new. I seemed to have underestimated the effects of the energy of this work and I have been a bit “woman down” swirling through the effects of this exploration in my own life over the past few weeks.
I have now moved into our new home and my new office
is almost complete its renovation (edit at time of sending: FINALLY finished its renovation and excitedly waiting to welcome new clients 🎉), which seems synonymous with my own renovation that is taking place.
Which brings me to the topic of this month’s newsletter: Next Level Dreaming
When I was young, I had my internal list of “what I wanted to achieve in life”. In the simplicity of a 12 year old it read as follows:
In the characteristic of an adult, I had forgotten that once upon a time this was the sum total of my “life fulfillment” list and was stuck in the loop of continuous achievement with new goals being laid upon new goals, upon yet more goals with the goal posts of life being moved on a very regular basis. The result, of course, being that internal sense of “never there yet”.
In a moment of epiphany, I realized, hang on a minute…. If I look at my “original life goals” I have actually achieved every single one of my “when I am big” accomplishments.
This actually felt a bit strange to register… the part of me which is used to running towards the next goal or achievement was like what??!! Can’t be? What do you mean? I have all sorts of things which I have not achieved yet, which I want, which I am dissatisfied about, which I want to improve etc etc.
The habit of dissatisfaction.
The habit of “it never being good enough” a symptom of the belief of “I am not good enough”…
But if I put all of that aside for a moment and looked rationally… I could see quite clearly…. All I had originally set out to achieve in life, and been fulfilled.
Seeing and acknowledging this brought a release of my breath. A feeling of acknowledgement, celebration and accomplishment.
At the same time, I could then sense this feeling of “Now what?” Does that mean that I must now be satisfied with life as it stands and revel in my manifestations and celebrate with no further chasing or can I continue pursuing new dreams?
An important premise of “manifesting more” is to acknowledge and celebrate all wins, all gains, all current manifestations.
This is a component of “Existential Kink”, a body of work by Dr Carolyn Elliot, who has recently compiled the principles within a book. You can read a bit about the philosophy here.
And so the wisdom prevailed that it was important for me to take conscious time to acknowledge that I had achieved what I originally set out to achieve. To take a moment of rest at the peak of that mountain.
And from there, to survey the view and see what is the next mountain of achievement and progression that I would like to climb?
I am currently reading a book titled, Think Big: Take small steps and build the future you want, by Dr Grace Lordan, a Professor of Behavioural Science at the London School of Economics and Political Science. The book encourages its readers to imagine where you would like to be in a 5 year period, what life would you want to be living, what goals would you like to achieve?
That exercise can often feel like delusional fantasy work – delicious dream weaving, and often gets smacked square in the face by our limiting narratives that quickly follow.. The “yes, but…” responses OR we can feel really inspired by these delicious fantasies that we jump right into them with such gusto that we overwhelm ourselves and give up within a matter of days/weeks/months.
Moving towards dreams requires diligence and discipline. It requires us to be really clear about the direction that we would like to move in, and then to create small, consistent steps in that direction.
In many instances, it involves being back at the beginning. At the start of a new adventure. It involves learning new skills, developing new strengths, forming new habits.
In my new blog post: 4 Ways Ballet and Horse-Riding are Growing me and an Entrepreneur
I share some of my insights around my choice to take up the art forms of ballet and horse-riding as an adult, and newbie, to develop new skills and awareness.
In essence, my next level of self-awareness and psychological development is taking place through working directly with the unconscious as we hold it in the body. Through somatic awareness and bridging the disconnect between body and mind.
At the same time, I am using these platforms to challenge my thinking about being a beginner, challenging myself to learn new skills and develop different holding positions in my body – skills which will translate into the skills development that I am hoping to achieve in my growth as an entrepreneur.
Being at the beginning of a new journey can feel really exhausting. After spending decades in pursuit of goals, to climb a peak and then to start at the bottom of a new one can feel really daunting.
Support is often required to either cheer us on, empathize with our new growth pains, or act as guides to help navigate new terrains and teach us the new skills required for this next level journey.
This has meant that I am seeking the support of a variety of professionals and trainers to support me in my pursuit of developing as a ballerina and rider. Both ballet and horse-riding are art forms which require mirroring in order to learn.
You can’t see your own progress or what changes need to be made without the feedback reflecting back to you – either visually through the use of mirrors or video and/or trainers which can see what you simply cannot see in yourself.
The same applies to our personal development. We have the use of mirrors and “video” feedback through the experiences of our lives and our relationships.
We can often feel that we are the victim of our experiences… but when we work deeply with our projections and internal narratives that we run we can discover how much we are a key creator of our experiences and the dynamics that unfold in our relationships (personal and professional).
This is where the support of a trained professional can assist in bringing a fresh set of objective eyes to shine some light on our blind spots and what we cannot always see in ourselves.
So when we have experiences in our lives which we are in conscious disagreement with (i.e areas where we would like to see some change), then we have the opportunity to explore those aspects of our personality (unconscious, inner child, internalized familiar pattern etc) which have contributed and which are in alignment to keep a certain status quo in place.
This is the work that I mostly engage in with my clients and which work gives the shiniest twinkle in my eye….
It’s almost like the feeling of the wolf in Red Riding Hood and the salivation starting in anticipation of a delicious meal…. Like a bloodhound who has caught the scent of its prey hiding under the bushes long before it is visually apparent. Just writing this fills me with a tangible arousement in my body – discovering something that has been hidden for so long and which is creating havoc in a person’s life – bringing it into conscious awareness so that it can be integrated and seen!
And so in the contemplation over the past few weeks regarding what are my next steps, my new level of dreaming on what I would like to work towards, this has come with the energy of reimagining my business brand and how I want to be working with clients. My office renovation translated into a business renovation!
Although I will continue to work in the spaces of individual and couple work, my focus is shifting towards the energies of transformational journeys through education and experiential play.
Providing opportunities for people to empower themselves to create changes through awareness – tools and techniques to self-correct and self-reflect.
So that you are no longer looking for the next quick fix and throwing money in the proverbial slot machine at the casino, where we all know the house always wins, in the hope that one attempt will make all your problems disappear. Instead… joining together with a playmate (a trained bloodhound) to work through your own game of life – identifying how the snakes lie and which ladder to climb to avoid danger or discovery.